


Rest Stop

by sorrowfulcheese



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-15
Updated: 2014-02-15
Packaged: 2018-01-12 13:31:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1187076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sorrowfulcheese/pseuds/sorrowfulcheese
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At the Citadel docks, before the crew can leave the ship, there's a bit of an issue. Grunt wants Zaeed's assistance in resolving the issue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rest Stop

    "You gotta help me get out of this."  
  
    Zaeed pursed his lips, folded his arms. "What d'you think she's gonna do to you?"  
  
    "I dunno," Grunt said, and shifted his weight anxiously. "I heard—they put things in places you don't want things to go."  
  
    "Yeah, doctors do that sometimes." Zaeed chuckled at the krogan's discomfiture. He glanced past Grunt to get a glimpse of the surveillance laptop; nothing going on, and no one coming down to the cargo bay.  
  
     _Yet._  
  
    Grunt shifted again. "Look, I just don't want that."  
  
    Zaeed snorted. "What happened to all that _I am krogan_ bullshit? The ultimate krogan, the future of the species, and all?"  
  
    "Other krogan," Grunt growled, "aren't stuck on a human ship."  
  
    "As I understand it," Zaeed told him, "Wrex did all right on the first Normandy."  
  
    "That was Wrex. And no one wanted to do this kind of thing to him."  
  
    He sighed. "What d'you want me to do?"  
  
    "You're screwing Shepard, right?"  
  
    "Not at the moment, I'm not."  
  
    "But you are, right? You can distract her. Once you have her out of the picture, no one else can stop me. I can get off the ship." Grunt bounced a little, hopeful.  
  
    "You want me to seduce Shepard, just so you can get out of this?" Zaeed made a face.  
  
    "I don't care what you do. Just keep her out of my way. Come on. You're a fighter. Imagine what it's like to be humiliated like this."  
  
    Zaeed sighed. "Suck it up. Take it like a—" He paused, straightened, uncrossed his arms, rolled his shoulders. "Like a fucking krogan, I guess."  
  
    Grunt made an annoyed sound. "Help me out," he said, "or I'll let everyone know about you and Shepard, and I'll tell Shepard you were bragging about it." His blue eyes narrowed; his truculent jaw thrust further forward.  
  
    Zaeed ground his teeth. "Son of a bitch," he snapped.  
  
    Grunt grinned. "Thanks," he said.  
  
    "How do you want me to do this, then?"  
  
    "I don't know how you humans go about it," Grunt waved a dismissive hand. "Do what you like." He turned and left the cargo bay.  
  
    Zaeed watched the surveillance footage until Grunt was gone, off to the other end of the corridor and into the other cargo bay. He stood thoughtful a moment. Really, he could understand Grunt's unease. He was just a kid, after all, no matter that he had the size and strength of an adult krogan. He sighed, shook his head, and steeled himself before he headed into the corridor.  
  
    "Zaeed Massani." He froze, watched as Kasumi made herself visible beside him. "It's a rare day you come out of your cave for anything except a mission." He couldn't see her eyes, but her lips twitched in amusement. "Or supper."  
  
    "Maybe you just don't notice me," he suggested. "I get out more than you think."  
  
    "Is that so," she said. "Where are you off to while we're docked?"  
  
    "None of your goddamn business."  
  
    "Aw, that's not nice. Shepard was in the medical bay with Doctor Chakwas, the last I saw."  
  
    "Why is that relevant?" he asked cautiously.  
  
    She shrugged. "I thought it was an interesting fact."  
  
    "Maybe I'm just going upstairs to play cards and have a few drinks," he said, and struck the elevator controls with his fist.  
  
    Kasumi stepped into the elevator with him. "Maybe I'd like to join you," she said slyly. "I hear the stakes get pretty high."  
  
    He directed the elevator to stop at the crew deck. "It gets pretty raunchy when we've got a few bottles in us."  
  
    "I'm sure I can handle myself. It's easier to steal your credit chits when you're a little drunk, you know."  
  
    The elevator stopped and the doors opened. "Look," Zaeed said, and turned swiftly to her, "I don't need you on my case. Go back to stalking Taylor, would you?" He shoved her through the door.  
  
    She stared at him a moment, then chuckled softly. "Maybe I will," she said. "He's more fun than you are."  
  
    "That is not an insult," Zaeed informed her as the doors slid shut again. He rode the rest of the way to the CIC and stepped off, glanced around to assess the situation.  
  
    Chambers turned to smile at him and Zaeed cursed silently. She had that _let me help you_ look in her eyes.  
  
    "Looking for Shepard," he warned her, and was pleased when her expression fell a little.  
  
    "The Commander's already debarked," Chambers told him.  
  
    He scowled. "When did that happen?"  
  
    She looked innocent. "Just a few minutes ago, actually. She might still be in comms range, if you want me to call her."  
  
    "No, that's fine," he said, and hesitated. He didn't much care what Chambers thought of him. But he couldn't just head out now that she'd said Shepard had just gone out—  
  
     _Why the fuck not?_  
  
    He sighed and headed to the open airlock.  
  
    "Have fun!" Chambers called after him. Zaeed gritted his teeth.  
  
    He stepped out of the airlock and turned, intending to head to the nearest rapid transit station, but a hand shot out from nowhere and caught his armour, spun him around, and Zaeed pursed his lips, disconcerted.  
  
    "What was the plan, Zaeed?" Shepard demanded with a half-smile. "You come out and make sure I'm distracted so he can run past?"  
  
    "Goddamnit, Shepard," he snapped, "I might've hit you without thinking, you coming at me like that."  
  
    "Talk faster, Zaeed," she said wryly. "He sent you out here, didn't he?"  
  
    He shrugged. "Chambers said you were already gone. I didn't think I had to do anything."  
  
    Shepard raised an eyebrow, folded her arms. "Why would you even try?"  
  
    He raised his hands defensively. "He blackmailed me."  
  
    "Uh-huh."  
  
    From inside the Normandy there were sudden shouts, loud crashing sounds, and the unmistakeable roar of a krogan on a rampage.  
  
    "Might want to step aside," Shepard warned him. Zaeed moved obediently to one side of the airlock. Shepard stood directly in front of it, arms folded, unafraid. She was maybe the size of one of the krogan's arms and one of his legs put together, but she planted her feet and she waited there, her expression calm, her uniform pristine, not a hair out of place. He'd never seen a single man stand up to a krogan charge the way she had done, the way she was doing—  
  
    Something in his chest fluttered suddenly. _Goddammit, but she was beautiful._  
  
    More shouting and crashing, a cry of dismay; then another roar and heavy footsteps approaching, accompanied by a high-pitched sound he could not identify.  
  
    Grunt barrelled out of the airlock, with Tali clinging desperately to his head, her legs dangling helplessly behind. The noise was Tali's terrified shriek. Grunt saw Shepard almost too late and pulled up sharply. Shepard did not move even to blink; Grunt's momentum and sudden stop nearly caused Tali to fly over his head, but her body smacked loudly against his back instead, and she groaned.  
  
    "I would like to get down, now," she said in a weak voice. Grunt reached up and lifted her off him, set her on her feet, never took his guilty eyes off Shepard. Tali limped back into the Normandy.  
  
    "Grunt," Shepard said sternly.  
  
    "Shepard," he replied, uneasy. He reached up and rubbed his crest with one fist, then stood watching her.  
  
    "Inside, Grunt."  
  
    "Shepard, come _on_ ," Grunt complained.  
  
    "Don't whine, Grunt," Shepard said. "It's one scan, and one shot."  
  
    "What's this now?" Zaeed cut in.  
  
    "You were supposed to distract her," Grunt snapped, and pointed an accusing finger at him. " _You_ don't get to join the conversation."  
  
    "Grunt," Shepard said, "may have picked up a parasite on Tuchanka. Doctor Chakwas said the Normandy's bioscans alerted her, and she wants to do a proper scan to make sure he didn't in fact pick anything up. If he did, she'll give him a shot to treat it. If he didn't, he'll be fine."  
  
    "That's it?" Zaeed exclaimed, and turned to Grunt. "All that fuss over a goddamn scan?"  
  
    "And a shot," Grunt pointed out.  
  
    " _Maybe_ a shot," Zaeed rolled his eyes.  
  
    Shepard uncrossed her arms, pointed to the airlock. "Inside, Grunt. _Now_."  
  
    The mighty shoulders sagged; the blue eyes looked furtively left and right, in case an escape route had presented itself in the meantime. At last Grunt sighed and turned and dragged himself back in.  
  
    Shepard turned to look at Zaeed, but said nothing. After a moment's scrutiny, he cleared his throat. "If I'd known it was something that minor," he said, "I wouldn't even have considered it."  
  
    "It's a damn scan, Zaeed. She doesn't even have to touch him."  
  
    "Some medical procedures are a little more invasive," he said. "Can't blame a fellow for not wanting to be humiliated."  
  
    "Afraid of the old, 'turn your head and cough', is that it?"  
  
    He grimaced. "They don't have to do that anymore," he reminded her. "But yeah, that sort of thing."  
  
    "I'll make sure you're next on the full medical exam roster," Shepard told him. "Inside and out."  
  
    "What did I do?" he wondered. "I just came outside thinking I'd maybe hit up a bar and have a drink or two. Then this all happened." Shepard turned and stood close to him, her boots touching his, and he had the sudden urge to grab her, to push her up against the side of the Normandy—  
  
    "You lie like a cheap rug, Massani," she informed him, her nose nearly touching his. "Very badly."  
  
    He showed her his teeth. "I'm innocent, officer, I swear."  
  
    Shepard grinned, and it made his heart jump. "You'll get that drink or two," she said. "Since we're here, we might as well hit up Dark Star once the scans are done."  
  
    "Scans?"  
  
    "We all need to be scanned, Zaeed. Tuchanka's got shit on it that we don't want to be tracking to the Citadel. I will meet you at Dark Star at nineteen-hundred, for drinks." She turned away and with pleasure and relief he watched her stalk back into the Normandy. He followed after a moment.  
  
    In the CIC, the crew were picking themselves up, dusting themselves off. Garrus helped Tali to the elevator, solicitously holding her left hand in his while his right arm supported her around her waist. Jack and Miranda snarled at one another, each accusing the other of having useless biotics if they could not handle a single adolescent krogan. Thane straightened his coat and looked uneasily around. Chambers fluttered about, comforting the alarmed but otherwise unharmed CIC crew.  
  
    Kasumi perched on a console and swung her legs back and forth with delight as she watched the chaos.  
  
    It occurred suddenly to Zaeed that she'd been conveniently near when he'd left the cargo bay. He paused near her.  
  
    "You really have nothing better to do," he said under his breath.  
  
    "Why, Zaeed, I don't know what you're talking about." She flashed white teeth.  
  
    "Mm." He glanced at Shepard, who was still herding a complaining Grunt to the elevator. "You talked it up to him, didn't you? Got him afraid of what Chakwas might do, got him so riled up he was just about ready to ram right through the goddamn hull of the ship."  
  
    Kasumi laughed softly. "Why would I do something like that? It could be _dangerous_."  
  
    "I guess you didn't count on the fact that he actually respects Shepard—or maybe you didn't count on Shepard figuring out he'd try to make a break for it." He folded his arms. "Did you put him up to roping me into it?"  
  
    "Roping you into what?" she asked sweetly. "I thought you were going to play poker, and then you threw me out of the elevator."  
  
    He ran his tongue over his teeth, nodded slowly. "Well, I guess it didn't work out the way you planned."  
  
    "Sometimes," Kasumi said, "it's fun just to see what happens." She hopped down from the console and vanished, and moved so quickly Zaeed could not track her. He shook his head, glanced once more around the CIC, and waited for the elevator to return.  
  
    He'd never been to the Dark Star Lounge, though he had heard it compared favourably to Chora's Den. Chora's Den had been his kind of place, where a man could sit and drink in relative peace, watch the girls dance. It didn't seem the sort of place that someone like Shepard would want to go, though. Saviour of the Citadel and all that. Then again she'd apparently been dead for two years and was now serving with Cerberus; maybe all that had changed her. Or maybe she never had been the bright and shining example of the Alliance Navy that they had liked to pretend she was.  
  
    The elevator door opened and Zaeed stepped in, punched in his destination; he folded his arms and leaned against the wall and waited.  
  
    The elevator stopped on the crew deck and Shepard stepped in, glanced up at him.  
  
    "Going down," Zaeed told her without thinking. Shepard grinned. He snorted. "Not what I meant, Shepard."  
  
    "Uh-huh." She folded her arms. "So tell me, were you really going to try and seduce me just so Grunt could get out of a checkup?"  
  
    "Distract you," he clarified. "In the manner of my own choosing."  
  
    "Which would have been?"  
  
    He considered a moment. "Might've asked you out for drinks. You never say no to that." The elevator stopped and the door slid open. He pushed away from the wall and headed into the corridor.  
  
    Shepard's hand shot out and smacked him, hard, on the ass. Startled, Zaeed turned to look at her.  
  
    She grinned again, stood back and folded her arms. "Never said no to anything you've proposed, Zaeed," she said, as the door slid shut between them.  
      
    He stared at the elevator door for a long time, and he was sure he had never been so red-faced since he'd first seen an asari dance.  
  
    The lounge, he told himself, as he turned and made his way into the cargo bay, might in fact just be Shepard's type of place. She had suggested it, after all. He tapped his omni-tool to check the time. Only fifteen-hundred; he had four hours to wait, and a medical scan at some point during that time.  
  
    He sat down, picked up a book and tried to concentrate on it.

**Author's Note:**

> Once again, I apologise for the silly, only because it feels so incredibly unnecessary. But I love Grunt so hard, and I love the way he interacts with Shepard. And the scene was in my head, so. :)


End file.
